Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Glorious Results of a Misspent Youth

Don't do things to your body when you are young that you will regret when you are older. How many times did I hear that little piece of wisdom when I was a teenager or in my 20s and think to myself "I'm invincible. None of those bad side effects will ever happen to me. I've been doing this for years and haven't had one bad thing happen to me."
This is not a blog where I label and remember every bad thing I did when I was young. For that I would need a book. Suffice it to say I did them all, twice.
I did think I was invincible.
Then one day I got older and suddenly I discovered what Joan Jett was talking about when she named her 1984 album The Glorious Results of a Misspent Youth.
Apparently some of that stuff you did when you were young doesn't really hurt you, or affect you, until you get older and your body isn't able to protect you like it used to. I wish somebody had explained it to me. Better yet, I wish someone had said "this happened to me and it can happen to you. You may not pay now...but trust me...you'll pay for it someday."
But nobody did. Somehow I was just supposed to believe what everybody said. I'm not good at that.
Why didn't somebody tell me that if I abused certain substances it would affect my teeth and my liver and my kidneys and my joints? How come nobody tells you about the emotional and spiritual and psychological effects of abuse? How come nobody said that if I did it once I'd do it again and again and that it would lead to other, harder, more dangerous things, and that in the end I wouldn't know right from wrong and my moral compass would be so screwed up that I wouldn't be able to make wise choices about anything?
I'm a guitar player and I have to deal with joint pain and arthritis in my fingers that is partially the result of living a life without much thought of the future. My voice is permanently scared after years of subjecting it to abuse. There are days I can't walk because the gout in my toe is so bad that I want to take a hacksaw and remove it. I can no longer assimilate caffeine in any form. Recovery, from anything, is a day to day struggle no matter how many years you've been clean. Don't let anybody tell you that it goes away.
Now, thankfully, I follow a guy named Jesus who loved me enough to rescue me from all of that and to give me a second shot at life. I certainly haven't always given it my best shot and I've messed up a few times along the road (some privately, and some rather publicly), but Jesus doesn't seem to mind. He continues to love me and allow me to be part of his church.
That's the good part. That is what grace is all about.
The other part, the part that is more difficult, is living with the consequences of those earlier, selfish, dangerous choices. I am saved and forgiven but I'm also human and subject to the laws of cause and effect.
I hope young worship leaders read this and take it to heart. I've been a worship leader for almost 15 years now and every day has been a struggle, not because I don't love what I do - I do love it - but because I have to fight through so many physical and emotional and spiritual things that are the consequences of poor choices when I was young. I'm not saying my life would be perfect if I hadn't made bad choices. Nobody is perfect. I'm just saying it might have been a little easier.
I can't wait for heaven when I no longer have to live in this body or have the mental scars I have. In the mean time...I think I'll put my foot up...it's killing me again!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Rob Bell's "Love Wins" Chapter 7

I could have very easily titled this blog "The gospel of entrance instead of the gospel of enjoyment." This chapter wrecked me emotionally and spiritually. Forget, for a moment, the heaven and hell stuff that Rob talks about in this chapter. His parallels between heaven and hell and the story of the prodigal son are fine, but what he says about the gospel, about God, and about how we as Christians relate to God are the things that, for me, made this chapter perhaps the best chapter in the entire book so far. I am still recovering this morning from what I read. I used the basic premise of this chapter for a devotional for our choir last night, relating it to something completely different than heaven and hell, relating it instead to self identity, and the impact was just as strong.
So, here goes.
How do you see God? What view of God colors your world and your view of grace, mercy, heaven, and ultimately yourself as a person in relationship to this God? What stories have you told yourself, or been told, about God that define who you think God is?
Are you like the prodigal son who tells himself all the way home that his Father can't love him after where he has been and what he has done? That his Father will no longer call him a son? That at best, his Father might let him be a servant?
The Father tells his younger son that no matter where he has been or what he has done, he will always be his Son. Nothing can change that. In fact, when the son returns home, the Father throws a huge party for him. The Father's story is better than the son's story.
The older brother is angry. He tells the Father "I've slaved away at home for you and you've never given me even a scrawny goat for a party." The older brother tells himself that the Father is a slave driver, mean, and cheap. The Father tells the older brother that everything he owns has always belonged to the older brother. He could have had a party anytime he wanted. The Father's story is better than the older brother's story.
The older brother and the younger brother are ultimately worried about "getting in" about "entrance" into the Father's house and love and ultimately, into the Father's favor. The Father's story is about mercy, and grace, and acceptance. The Father tells both boys that they are already in the family. There is nothing they can do, or not do, that puts them outside of the family. The Father simply wants to enjoy His sons. He isn't worried about whether they are good enough or have worked hard enough to be eligable for entrance. That isn't the point.
That is not the point of the gospel either, according to Bell. Bell writes "What the gospel does is confront our version of our story with God’s version of our story" (171).
Bell suggests that too many Christians have this idea that the Gospel is good news because it is a story of Jesus rescuing us from an angry, vengeful God. A God who one moment loves us, and then when we die, suddenly becomes schitzophrenic and wants to torture us in hell for all eternity (174). Basically our gospel is that we love Jesus but fear God. Who wants to spend eternity with that kind of a God?
Bell's argument is that the real gospel, the story that God (the Father) tells us - the story that is better than the ones we tell - is that the good news of the gospel is that God, through Jesus, is rescuing us from ourselves, from sin, from death, and from all the untrue stories we tell ourselves. God is the rescuer!
While we as Christians tend to focus on the gospel of "entrance" - trying to decide who gets in and who doesn't - God is focusing on the gospel of "enjoyment" - on having a party with all of his sons and daughters. Hell isn't a very good party. Christians who focus on the gospel of "entrance" don't throw very good parties (179).
Rob says a lot of other profound things in this chapter, but I want to end with two of them.
First, "an understanding of heaven that focuses on “getting in” rarely creates good art. It is a cheap view of the world because it is a cheap view of God" (179-180). Ouch! As an artist I need to hear that. I want to create art that celebrates a God who enjoys parties, who enjoys his children, who is not cheap, but is expressive and generous.
Second, "both brothers tell incorrect stories to themselves about God, because their perception of God was wrong. The father’s love can’t be earned (the older brother) or lost (the younger brother). It just is" (185, 187).
I want to present the Father's love like this. You can't earn it and you can't lose it. You can reject it - but that doesn't mean the Father stops loving you. He'll never stop. He'll do anything, no matter how incorrect it might seem by our human standards, to ensure all his kids get to party with Him in heaven forever.
I have kids. I know exactly how he feels!!!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Love Wins Chapter 6 "There are Rocks Everywhere"

One note of housekeeping. Chapter 5 was so uneventful and predictable I didn't bother writing a blog on it. Also, I'm reading several books right now. Some, like Bell's book are religious in nature. Some, like Douglas Coupland, are also religious in nature, but not in a way you might expect. So, I've been sidetracked a little. Oh and Easter happened. Enough excuses.
Rob Bell says that the only way to salvation is through Jesus (154). Pretty traditional stuff. Nobody, not even John Piper or the Graham clan, could refute that. What Bell then does, is take an Evangelilcal's preconceived idea of this salvation and this Jesus and blow it wide open. After reading this chapter I wasn't surprised that he has gotten so much heat from the mainly republican, right-wing, evangelical, American-centric form of Christianity that seems to dominate the media, politics, and airwaves in America. Allow me to explain....
First, Bell says that "as obvious as it is, then, Jesus is bigger than any one religion. He didn’t come to start a new religion…and he continually transcends whatever labels and cages we create to contain him, especially the one called “Christianity”. He continues, "Jesus takes his role of redemption seriously; rescuing not just everything, but everybody"(150-151).
I can sense the critics getting ready to pounce at this point. They have their charges of "universalism" all loaded up. They are ready to claim that Bell is saying that anybody can get in, that you don't have to be a Christian to get into heaven. That Buddhists and Muslims can go. Why not just say "any path that gets you there works?"
Bell answers. "What Jesus does not claim is that any path is good as long as it leads to heaven, nor that a certain people group or religious group gets to define who gets in and who doesn’t. What Jesus does claim is that he alone is saving everybody. This leaves the door wide open. He is, at the same time, both as narrow as himself and as wide as the universe (154-155).
He then goes on to, in my opinion, skewer the American-centric Evangelical Right. He says "when people use the word “Jesus” it is important to ask who they are talking about. Are they referring to a token of tribal membership, a tamed, domesticated Jesus who waves the flag and promotes whatever values they decided their nation needs to return to? Are they referring to the logo or slogan of their political, economic, or military system through which they sanctify their greed and lust for power? Or are they referring to the very life source of the universe who walked among us and continues to sustain everything with his love and power and grace and energy (156). This is perhaps, my favourite paragraph in the entire book.
If we (and I say this to everyone, not just the right) can see past our own ideas of who Jesus is and if we can stop trying to be God, judging who gets in and who doesn't, based on our own interpretations of the Bible, we might just be able to see that God is bigger than we are and salvation is bigger than we could imagine.
Bell's last words in this chapter are cautionary.
"It is our responsibility to be extremely careful about making negative, decisive, lasting judgments about people’s eternal destines. Jesus said he didn’t come to judge the world but to save it." Maybe we should be more concerned with saving the world too, rather than judging it...or judging Rob Bell.