So, I'm writing a novel. I've started hundreds in my lifetime and they never seem to make it past the first fifty to one hundred pages. There is always some new idea that takes over and I forget the one I am currently working on. The other day I came across an old drive with five or six novels in various states of completion - none of which I have worked on in years.
For some reason, however, this one is different.
I've written 30 chapters on this.
I've written well over 300 pages.
I stopped counting words a long time ago.
I'm not trying to write what I think anyone wants to read.
I'm not trying to fit into some pre-designed genre.
I'm not writing about vampires or zombies.
I'm not writing about secret agents and spies.
I'm writing what I know.
I'm writing about the struggle of addiction, the struggle of faith, the struggle for meaning. I'm writing about hurt, betrayal, desire, music, art, lust, redemption, loss....all of it.
I'm telling a story. A story about how we attempt to survive life.
This isn't a Christian story, although it explores issues of faith.
This isn't a PC novel. It isn't rated PG-13. If it ever gets published and you read it, you will understand what I'm talking about. The language, situations, and content are adult. Just like life.
This isn't a book that moralizes. In fact, I am working very hard to make sure it does not moralize. There are way too many of them out there already. This isn't a book that tells you what you should or shouldn't believe or think or do. Rather, it is a book that looks at how we deal with loss, how we deal with tragedy, how we search for meaning amidst the wreckage, and if we are lucky (which not everyone is), how we learn to live moment by moment, day by day, week by week, with the reality we create. Sometimes that reality is healing and sometimes it is devastating.
This novel has taken on a life of it's own and for that I am thankful. I thought I knew exactly how this would go, how the story would play out, where it would end up. I no longer do. I'm sort of hanging on for the ride. A bit like life, I think.
