I have battled a skunk that lived underneath one of our houses. It won and we moved. I have yet to battle a little critter that actually lives in your house. This blog will chronicle my Herculean struggle against the evil force pictured above - mighty mouse. It isn't my fault. I didn't start this battle. I didn't go looking for this battle. I was drawn in to it as unwilling participant. But let me be clear. I may not have started it, but I will finish it. Last night as we were getting ready for bed, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a shadow moving across the ceiling. Because the lamps were on, I naturally assumed something on the floor had cast a shadow and so I leisurely looked down on the floor. There, staring me down, mano to mano, was a mouse. A real, live, breathing, mouse on my floor in my bedroom late at night.
It was a shock. My heart began to beat faster (a lot faster). I did not, for the record, scream or jump on the bed, or do anything like that.
I went looking for something to capture it in. while I was upstairs looking for a bucket or a container of some type, my wife yells that "it's moving" and by the time I get back downstairs, it has disappeared into the laundry room.
A fact I did not know. A mouse can flatten its body so that it fits underneath a closed door. I did not know this. It freaks me out a little. What evil genius (Satan) thought up a rodent that could flatten itself almost as thin as paper.
That just plain isn't fair. How am I supposed to fight a creature that can transform itself like that to escape?
Well, needless to say, I am up to the challenge. No rodent...NO RODENT...enters my house, stares me down, and then lives to tell about it.
I'm on my way to buy traps. The kind that maim and kill and mutilate in the most hideous of fashions in order to send a warning message to other rodents who might happen by and see their colleague in one of my traps. (I'd best protect my fingers while setting them or I'll be looking for another career but that is another story and frankly...I'm obsessed with finding and destroying the evil in my house and my fingers are only a minor secondary concern at this point).
I'll be out of town for a day or so. When I get back I expect to find a mouse cut in half in my trap. I'll let you know where to send congratulatory cards and champagne when I celebrate my victory.
